Tear Ducts-2, Mama-0

5 weeks ago, I stood on the side of the pool watching MB's first swim lesson and cried. I cried because she couldn't swim, but then, I hadn't really expected her to. I mostly cried because she was crying. And because that's what I do: I cry a lot.
Today, I stood on the side of the pool and cried again. This time because she can do it! She can swim. And because she didn't cry. Instead she said Fumbs up, Mama, because Miss Joy can't seem to get her to actually put up her thumbs.

So I cry if she doesn't swim. I cry if she does swim. I cry if she cries. I cry if she doesn't cry.
I just can't win.
But if we're being honest [I try to be honest], I surrendered a long long time ago.

Worth A Thousand Words

Lee and I recently had a discussion about which pictures of MB really capture her spirit. Some of my favorite pictures of her are ones where she's not smiling, actually. Like this one from earlier this summer--

Something about it just makes me want to squeeze her and cover her face with kisses and get her 10,000 milk cups. WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABY of MINE! IT IS YOURS.

But even I admit this is not a side of MB that we see regularly. What we see regularly goes something like this:

I got sunscream, Mama!

Ok, Mary Bullock, that's enough sunscreen now, sweetheart. 

I got it under my dwess, MAMA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yep. That's her.

Half Way

Is it just me, or did July 4th come sooner this year than it ever has before? I'm still kind of mind-boggled that we're half way through summer. I thought for sure I would have myself together before now.

But no.

The opposite, actually. Instead of getting myself together, so far this summer I have:
Created a holla hoop monster
Smashed my brand new cell phone to bits
Utterly failed at part 2 of potty training if you know what I mean

Allowed MB to watch ungodly amounts of Toweus Jowges [Curious George] and Mawfa Peaks [Martha Speaks] in the name of my own sanity
Hmm...what else.
Forgotten to get the dry cleaning...oh...every single week. Not even kidding.

I've also:
Taken whatever semblance there was of Bobo's schedule and trashed it
Said some bad words much louder than I meant to
Lost my temper
Lost my bathing suit
Lost various pool towels
Lost some of Lee's brand new work shirts.

Most of that turned back up eventually.  We're hoping the shirts are the result of a forgot to pick up the dry cleaning incident, and not a forgot to lock the car door and they were stolen from our driveway incident.

Oh well.

As MB says in potty training: That's o-tay, I guess. We'll just have to teeeeeeep twying.

I learn something new from her every day.

Rules

Have y'all seen this book? I guess unless you have had a boy recently [or had a friend having a boy maybe?] you might not have come across it. We received it as a gift when Lee 4 was born. Aside from being an awesome color to add to my color-by-numbers bookshelves, I love thumbing through it to see the advice for boys.

I especially love the bits that advise boys to be nice and respectful to their mamas.  I have to admit that when I found out I was having a boy, I couldn't really picture how it would be to love a boy baby. If we're being honest, I didn't really know if I could love a boy the same way that I loved my girl.

Turns out, I don't love him the same. Just as much? Absolutely. Same? No. I hope to one day be able to articulate the difference, but I'm still trying to put my finger on it. 

I pray that I do him justice in his upbringing.

But if he doesn't call me on his birthday when he's an adult, I can always go over to his house, press my face to the window, and ask him if he wants pancakes or waffles for breakfast.

What? Is that bad?

New MB

My new favorite MB-icism: Don't cheer for me, Mama. Just clap.

Honestly

I have felt like whining this week. Summer [i.e. having two babies to manage 24/7] has already blown my mind.
But I don't blog to whine. Whining is boring to read about, I think.
So I'm coping by taking pictures of MB and turning them into collages with commentary.

This makes me laugh [after the fact, of course] at a situation that was not so laughable at the time. Does your baby have a face he/she makes right before the playing ratchets up a notch into violence? This is MB's look. The one that says I might need to go to my room for a few minutes.

I have to remind myself daily that even the best two-year-olds are still only two years old. And one day, I'm going to really really miss my two year old. The one who gives more night-night kisses than she gets, the one who, after peeing the floor right in front of the toilet, hugs my leg and says, I love you in the WHOLE WORLD, MAMA. The one who, first thing upon leaving her room in the morning says, I COMING RIGHT NOW, BABY BROWA! Yes, even the one who cut her own hair this week.

Luckily, I'll have another two year old in about...18 months. Maybe he'll give his mama a pass on the hair cutting, though.

I Don't Care What People Say

I think he looks like me.

Twinsies!